Saturday, August 20, 2005

Day of Confusion

Everybody has certain gifts; talents that they possess, whether they use them or not. We also all have non-gifts. Areas that, when forced to deal with them, we become absolutely, unabashedly stupid. I was "blessed" with the "opportunity" to rediscover one of them today. That area is computers.

I am either the absolute stupidest of the computer-savvy people, or the most brilliant of the retards. Not really sure which. So this morning when the computer started behaving badly, I got worried. When it kept behaving badly, I called Brewsmith. As he told me the things to check, I came to the discovery of at least one virus on it. Not really a surprise, but irritating anyway.

I can do all the basic, normal things on a computer, and with a little effort, I can manage to put together a website on a basic level, or modify the coding on this blog. As soon as we pass from there into the realm of messing with internal settings, registry editing, determining which processes are legitimate and which are bad, I start to go bug-eyed.

About eight or nine years ago, I was teaching myself some things about programming, and thinking about picking up some community college classes. Then one day I came to an abrupt realization that I really didn't like it. Not a bit. From then on, computers were only as interesting to me as the tasks they would perform. I wanted nothing to do with figuring out how to make them perform those tasks.

I've always managed to have someone nearby who could help me when things go bad and I want to throw the cpu in front of a Mack truck. Brewsmith is one of those people. There's no telling how much I would owe him by now if he had charged me for this help.

So from 8:30 this morning, until about 5pm, we did everything we could think of to get the computer back up and running, lastly resorting to blindly deleting entries in the computer registry. Finally, I managed to get clear of viruses, according to the software. So I am back to writing, and contemplating starting a secret vigilante-justice organization that would hunt down the creators of these trojan horses and worms, and make sure they pay a hefty price for it. I'd sell tickets and broadcast the acts of justice over the web. I suppose our identities would have to be secret though. That means I just blew my cover.


At 7:34 AM, Blogger Dan Kauffman said...

Wouldn't it be nice if there were some version of virtual sympathetic majic which could return the curse to the originator?

At 10:15 AM, Blogger also-known-as said...

That would be fine, except it would rob us of the pleasure of conducting the justice ourselves. I'm thinking more along the lines of kidnapping, and undisclosed locations where various levels of non-lethal torture are conducted for the enjoyment of a viewing audience. Plus, that brings in revenues to fund the whole project. I would buy a ticket.

Hey, maybe even audience participation!


Post a Comment

<< Home